Come Hoard With Me

ScreenHunter_12 Aug. 25 11.01

whatevsaboutit points us to this golden housing opportunity:

$680 hoarders haven (mission district)

Hello, I am seeking a nice room mate to share my 2 bedroom home.

You won’t have to pay utilities or do any chores so it’s perfect for a young person or a student.

But I cannot have anybody touching or moving my stuff because it would set off a chain reaction of emotions and feelings towards you and towards my things. Hoarding is not a mental illness, it is something environmentally responsible because I don’t like to throw anything away. But the San Francisco Department of public health said my living conditions were unsafe and came in and forcibly removed my things I have been collecting for over 40 years. It traumatized me and I have been rebuilding my collection ever since.

If you are a hoarded this would be a great place because someday, it would be so full of things that we would have to sleep outside. My friend did that in LA but here it might be too cold and the city is very punitive against hoarders and homeless people. Isn’t that ironic? They don’t like homeless people, but they don’t like people with homes either.

Please contact me by email as I am unable to get to the phone right now. I have a phone but it only rings. Once in a while I can get to it but it’s so far away and very hard to get to. If you had a cell phone that would be better.

Link.

4 thoughts on “Come Hoard With Me”

  1. I dunno, my friend (to whom I sent this immediately) are in agreement that it’s probably a joke. If someone actually had hoarding issues, this doesn’t seem like the tone in which they would discuss it. Also, the “I can’t get to the phone” bit seems a little over-the-top.

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