Mission Vegans Need to Learn How to Market Themselves


I saw this poster for the upcoming SF Vegan Bakesale and first thought, “Sweet!  I love cupcakes and the last vegan bakesale was fucking delicious!”  But then I really looked at the poster.  Vegans should be depicted as state-smashing, corporation-crushing, heart-breaking, chain smoking bike riders with an attitude so surly it is adorable.  So, what the fuck is this?  Vegans: if you want people to join your cause, do not pretend to be virginal middle schoolers whose most naughty action was sneaking an episode of “The Simpsons” while your parents were not looking.

Here, I made you a better poster:

Nothing says "our cause is awesome as shit" like an American flag bikini wearing, riffle-holding, hockey mom that will never win an election again but boys in Alabama love to masturbate to.

Author: Kevin Montgomery

No one should have a biography at age 24.

6 thoughts on “Mission Vegans Need to Learn How to Market Themselves”

    1. I have been vegan since I was in 8th grade so I have heard alot of rediculous things come from people about veganism…. But this persons post if by far the most ignorant, mind blowing bullshit that I have ever heard! This is completly offensive to vegans who are vegan for the right reasons including health, rights to all and a greener world. So please keep your mouth closed unless you have something productive and/or positive to say.

  1. um, if your goal was to make the poster more awesome, then fail. Wouldn’t a ninja or a sabretooth tiger or anything have been better than Sarah freaking Palin?

    Just saying.

  2. Wait, wait — check that poster again! The girl is offering you PUSSY… with HEARTS around it, yet! That’s at least gotta involve some tongue, too! Probably not FREE, but, c’mon…

    …Unless you’re not interested in that kind of thing — in which case, never mind.

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