Shit My Crazy Landlord Says

Sure, we’ve had our fill of crazy tenants, but what about crazy landlords?

Dylan writes:

a friend of mine lives in an apartment in the mission and he receives some of the most insane letters form his landlord you’ve ever seen. He started a blog about it….

Check out these choice bits:

  • “You are not my slaves and you can leave this building, to rent at another property or purchase real estate, where you are able to. I am not your slave either, but, I am your victim.”
  • “I remember a story, a few year’s ago, in the Mission District. There was a man who fell off of a balcony, at 4:00 am in the morning; from someone’s backyard balcony. He died. It was a party.”
  • “If you are having sex within my building, I prefer that you be in a heterosexual wedlock with whomever you are having sex with. I am expressing my personal belief and Catholic Christian faith to you.
  • “I am not cursing you, and I do not hope for your destruction, I am just quoting a scripture that might get you to stop bothering us.”
  • “I prayed and asked my God, for another company, who would be more affordable. God helped me to find Faith Roofing Company, who helped me to re-roof the roof for $8,500.00.”

The full letters are up at Letters From Judy. Enjoy them in all their low-res glory before Judy finds out and finally evicts this tenant for all the extra-martial sex he’s allegedly been having.

Author: Vic Wong

I own a sword. I like to write. I am a software engineer for I am a gypsy jazz guitarist.

One thought on “Shit My Crazy Landlord Says”

  1. Jesus H. Christ!!!! What a loopy nightmare. And why is it that these fishsticks are always the ones that decide to buy rental property?

    (And hey, lady, you are setting a terrible example for Catholics–what with the conservative Pope-ster and pedophile image problems, we don’t need “help” from the krazy korner.)

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