A Squirrel Breaks Into A Bar

(Artist’s recreation of the crime)

In just the most recent example of the rampant squirrel problem facing The Mission these days, a squirrel squirrelled his way into Zeitgeist yesterday and used his tiny little dirty claws to scratch at the bar’s decorative wall hangings. Animal Control came to pick him up, but he squirrelled out of the cage and scampered up a tree.

This just hits home what we all have long known to be true: our neighborhood is being taken over by squirrels. Sure, they were here first, but that’s no excuse to allow them to scurry willy-nilly all about, terrorizing pigeons and rats alike. I think I speak for us all when I say that something must be done about these little beasts. If the Board of Supervisors aren’t willing to put their feet down on the problem, I’ll stamp out these nut jobs myself.

Oooooh. Wait. Sorry. It was a man, a squirrelly man. Oooops. Never mind.

Misread at SFist.

Explore posts in the same categories: bars, Crime, Humor

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2 Comments on “A Squirrel Breaks Into A Bar”

  1. shazam Says:

    Ah man, but don’t you just wish SFist had ended its title with “Fleas in Handcuffs” instead? That would have brought the whole thing together quite nicely.

  2. Birnbaum Says:

    I even know squirrels could be “felonious”.

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