A Cure For Snow Envy
Yeah we get it, snow is a magical gift of nature that looks pretty, makes passable forts, and can be sledded upon. Then you live in it and within days you realize it’s a pain in the ass. It’s cold. It gets slushy. Your face hurts and you start ducking into random stores on the street just so you can warm up enough to walk further.
Need further convincing? Check out these luxuries we get to enjoy in our temperate neighborhood microclimate.
I don’t care how “connected to the road” you feel on a fixed gear ride, nothing is “connecting” you to a thick layer of ice. Check out what those less fortunate cyclists in Seattle have to do:
Yup, those are zip tie tire chains. The innovator Fritz Rice says:
I can accelerate, brake, and corner with aplomb, even on the vile snowpack/sheet ice mix the plows leave in the bike lanes. The zip ties dig nicely into the hardest packed surfaces, but they’re thin enough not to bounce the bike around at low speed or on short pavement sections.
Bragging about being able to accelerate, brake, and corner in the winter? And here we are complaining that our butts get wet because of some puddles. By the way, if you don’t have a fender, we have our own little innovation. Bungee a folded up copy of the Examiner to your rear rack. Works great.
If we want a burrito, the process is simple: walk a block (or two if you want the better one), buy a burrito, and enjoy.
Apparently, this is not so easy in ski towns like Mammoth Mountain. Burritos must be imported to you on monstrosities such as this:
Think of the carbon footprint on that sucker. I feel like if I don’t comply with a valid order within 20 seconds, a machine gun turret will open up on the side and lay me to waste. I’ll bet the burritos stink, too.