Breaking News: Bees Swarming Again!

In the comments section of the original post, Carowner says the bees are back in action (and details a dramatic plan to bounce them once and for all)!

Update (Thursday evening): In the comments section of THIS post, Carowner gives us a full timeline of bee activity, and reveals that the aforementioned dramatic plan is underway. Cross your fingers!

Nature Explained! Emergency Beekeeper Demystifies Saturday’s Bee Swarm

Real-life hero and Emergency Beekeeper Karen just wrote in to further explain the mystery of Saturday’s bee swarm:

This is the beekeeper, Karen, here. Wendy and Carowner were real troopers. As I explained many times to everyone who was crowded around and watched, when honey bees “swarm” it is a good thing for two reasons:

1. It means the colony from which it emerged is doing well and out grew its space. The queen leaves with approx 50% of the bees in the colony, and they find a place to land before figuring out where they will go to start a new nest. Why this group decided to land on the car is unknown. Meantime, back at the hive, a new queen (daughter of the queen who left) has emerged from her queen cell. She will head-up the other 50% of the colony and perpetuate it.

2. When honeybees swarm, they are very gentle and non-defensive. They have no honey stores or brood (baby bees before hatching) to protect, and they have gorged on honey before they left their hive, filling their special “honey stomachs” because they don’t know exactly when they will begin to set up housekeeping at their new location. They are like us after we’ve eaten a big meal (like T-day), full and kinda relaxed.

I took the bees back to my house and installed them into a hive. I will check on them in a few days to see if we got the queen or not. If we did not, she is likely still in the air vent of the car and will either leave or die.

I will post again once I know.

Fascinating animals, these bees. Thanks, Karen! Now if only we could finally solve that godforsaken cucumber mystery.

Breaking News: Gang of Bees Attacks the Mission!

Inhabitat‘s Mike Chino just sent me a text: “Check your gmail…” Anyway, he’s on the scene:

I swear to god this neighborhood keeps getting rougher….

Today (August 2nd) at 12:00 noon I spotted this itinerant horde of bees slowly making its way down 14th street between Mission and Valencia. The roving mass was apparently following a fugitive queen as she made her way down the block, clustering on top of cars and buildings with no concern for private property. Police assured a concerned public that there was, in fact, an emergency beekeeper on his way, and that there was no cause for alarm.

Cripes! Hope everybody’s okay. Thanks, Mike!

Update: Wendy was on the scene too. She kind of just broke my heart by explaining that “Emergency Beekeeper” is not an official City of San Francisco job title:

the police didn’t even know that you could call a beekeeper. they said they would put their number on file for future reference though. before my bf called the beekeepers, the police had called the fire department. they had no idea i guess.

And she says that is the place to find ass-kicking beekeepers should another emergency arise. Thanks, Wendy!

More mysterious phenomena on Mission Mission:

Humanoid Ghostbat Sighted

God Gives Me The Finger

Dead Rat in Tar With Its Spinal Chord Out on Muni Tracks Near Dolores Park

Squid With Human-Like Teeth/Gloryholes For Beginners Mashup

Cacti in Bloom at Paxton Gate!

Today I ducked into Paxton Gate for a few minutes, and I’m glad I did — the cacti in the back room are in bloom!

If I wasn’t heading for the park, or didn’t have a million-pound bag on my shoulder, I would have rounded them up in my arms and lovingly killed them softly with my less-than-green thumb. Check them out before the blossoms disappear for another year. If you adopt one, please keep us up to date on its progress.

I once owned a Paxton Gate cactus, and it erupted into bloom only once in the two and a half years I owned it. I continue to have a soft spot for blooming cacti. Here’s mine:

Previously on Mission Mission:

Sea Creature Pins at Paxton Gate

Dioxin in the Mission?

I just found this mildly amusing take on the Brown Apple Moth spraying:

I did a lot of thinking on this subject. I know I’m not the only one who’s noticed the dumping by planes since I saw others post about it also. So I thought I’d share what I think it is.

I think what they’re dumping is dioxin since a lot of dioxin’s been turning up in the bay over the years that those planes have been cruising over the Mission, Bernal Heights and Potrero Hill districts dumping by air.

I’ve noticed they usually fly over more often when rain’s in the forecast and of course rain would carry that dioxin down the storm drains and eventually into the bay.

How can they get away with it? Look at who’s getting the blame. Scientists are blaming gardeners saying it must be pesticides being used by gardeners. But I don’t think the dumpers had the blame being put on gardeners on their minds. I believe the reason they’re dumping over the Mission, Potrero Hill and Bernal Heights districts is because during the rains the rain washes the dioxin down the storm drains and those drains lead out around the Hunter’s Point area of the bay. That’s where the navy used to dump toxic wastes. You see? So the toxic waste dumpers who dump by plane probably originally planned on scientists thinking the dioxin was coming from the polluted land at the Hunter’s Point area.

There should be further investigations into this and maybe a ban on small planes flying over the city but the scientists are lazy and blaming the gardeners saying they’re using a lot of pesticides!

In the mean time the planes keep dumping the dioxin in divided amounts to get rid of it in a sneaky way. If they dumped it all at once it would be obvious it was a toxic waste dump and wouldn’t look like it was gardeners using pesticides.

Link (or click thumbnail to enlarge). Find other spray coverage here and here.

Environmentally Friendly Apartment for Sale

Sunset Magazine’s Idea House has a for sale sign out front. After talking to the man with the keys, I learned it is not the main house that is on the market, but the smaller apartment attached to this amazing house. He offered to show it to me, apparently mistaking my jeans for a cocktail dress. So, if anyone is willing to loan me, say a million dollars (it is listed at $995,000), I will be saving a bundle on heating and water bills – I should be able to repay you sometime in the next couple hundred years.

Perks: windmill, solar panels, blue kitchen, front row seats for Garfield Square soccer games.

Mish Fish

FluffyThe other day I was lamenting the lack of pet stores in the Mission. I wanted to walk by a storefront, see a puppy flopping around and falling over when it ran, or a kitten sneezing. Instead I chose a pretty good substitute, and stared in at the catfish and crabs at Fresh Meat Seafood Market for a couple minutes. Sure the catfishes’ eyes were a little glossy (although the one I named “Fluffy” seemed a little more alert than the others), and the crabs scuttling over one another and accidentally cutting off limbs with their pinchers wasn’t quite as adorable as what I had in mind, but it had to do.

Until I discovered Ocean Treasures.

Granted, it isn’t on my way to…well, anywhere, but the serene blue tanks and graceful fish drew me in like a shark to blood. Filled with exotic fish and reefs, it was more like an aquarium than a pet store. If it weren’t for the smell emitted by another wayward wanderer, I would have stayed longer. But the fish didn’t seem to mind the stench. They stared lazily out at me and glubbed a goodbye.

But I’m still going to say hi to Fluffy on my way home tomorrow. Cross your fingers that he is still there…

Humanoid Ghostbat Sighted

I was on BART the other day, somewhere between 16th and 24th Streets, when this pale humanoid ghostbat creature, apparently off course during a midnight flight through some underground caverns, collided with the train, shrieking in pain and horror, its mutant face pressed against the glass. I managed to snap a picture.

Give The People What They Want: Animal Sex

We were checking out Mission Mission’s stats, and noticed that “animal sex” is our most popular tag — by a mile. This was all begat by the cartoon animals making love post about some graffiti we saw on a bus. We thought we were just recognizing some charming art we saw in the nabe. Unbeknownst to us, we had tapped into something much more interesting. So we started talking: “We’ve analyzed the numbers; now how can we best cater to the needs of our audience?” Then we recalled a fascinating report broadcast some time last year by VBS TV about an allegedly time-honored Colombian tradition: fucking donkeys.

Link to Part One (in which the history of the tradition is introduced).

Link to Part Two (in which the voracity of certain allegations are examined).

Link to Part Three (in which a dude bones a donkey).

Link to the report’s official blog entry (with safe-for-work pictures).

(whored-up donkey photo by davelandsberg)


Squid with Human-Like Teeth/Gloryholes for Beginners Mashup

squid w human teeth, originally uploaded by Mission Mission.

Speaking of Boing Boing, you might recall from a couple months back or something that post about Promachoteuthis sulcus, the squid with human-like teeth. Anyway, the other day we mashed the squid up with the interactive die-cut cover of Johnny Gloryhole’s Gloryholes for Beginners (which somebody we know found at a party at Li Po Lounge).