How to properly toss a salad in Dolores Park (NSFW)

You need a spot with a good view, some close friends, and of course, Muni.

Ah, San Francisco.

Also, I might have made a Human Centipede joke if 30 Rock hadn’t just!

[Photo by Steven Miller]

(Thanks Dwight!)

Author: Andrew Sarkarati

caution is the path to mediocrity. gliding, passionless mediocrity is all that most people think they can achieve.

56 thoughts on “How to properly toss a salad in Dolores Park (NSFW)”

  1. I believe this is a perfect example of how life is truly NOT boring in the City by the Bay. We make simple things like waiting for a bus an amazing buttventure. You don’t even want to know what happened once they got on the bus…

    1. Here’s one: my son walks home from school everyday right past this stop. Give me shit for being a parent, give me shit for being a nimby, whatever. It’s not unreasonable to fear for my kid walking past shit like this. It’s not cool.

      1. Agreed. “Look, kids! That guy is getting his asshole sucked in the middle of the day! Aren’t you glad we live in SF?”

        I am VERY liberal but this kind of shit in public is definitely not ok with me. I also have to wonder why on earth MM posted this nastiness for me to look at first thing in the morning. Thx, kids.

        –Native mom of two little kids

      2. My comment from 8:20 this morning is still awaiting moderation, but I’ll point this out again: this photo is from an art project called Reclamations:
        http://www.smiller555.com/small/Gallery/Reclamations.aspx

        Most of the photos are of men making out in public spaces, or at work, or elsewhere. This is by far the most explicit and graphic of all of the photos in the series.

        It is *not* an example of “things that just happen at Dolores Park”.

      3. Dude, there *IS* no “moderation” on this blog. If you comment didn’t get posted it must be either a problem with your browser or a server-side hork.

  2. im not ok with this either. why are the others just standing there? please tell me that they all join in after the photo.

  3. “this” is why people still make fun of gays and sf and get away with it.

    cry me a river, but act like adults first.

      1. And I’m not ok with that, either.

        I don’t care if you’re gay, straight or hobosexual. Keep your felching out of my bus stop.

  4. if i had kids here i would be more concerned with the violence that happens on the streets here in broad daylight than with a silly sexual display. a woman was kidnapped off the street in broad daylight, let’s talk about that.

  5. Still doesn’t top the time I watched two local porn stars fist each other behind the now-removed green bin of mystery after bar-time

  6. Relax!!

    How many straight girls whip out their titties when there’s a camera and a dare. In this “post it to facebook” age, it’s all for shits and giggles… nothing more.

  7. This is awesome! Mommies, cry me a fucking river. Go to PLEASANTON. “…My kids!!?$&$ My kids!!!!” Oh my gosh…

    I’m especially in love with the posters who preface their derision with important clarifications such as “I’m liberal.” Well, so am I and I believe that you and your child are benefitted by the privilege to live in a city where we aren’t all completely deluded by fantasies of Dickensian haught. To be clear, it isn’t that I am in favor of PDA because I am not ‘in favor’ of it (though the sense of repulsion is clearly connected to the Artists intent). Rather, I just get so sick of the way that being a mother is taken as an unfettered license to authenticate moral panic. Rarely do fathers spin these gratuitous webs. Well I don’t care about your child’s celestial morals (because of course, these morals are pristine and unfettered). The productive conversation that a good parent would have with their child in response to this would inevitably help the child become modern, reasoned and capable of making sense of their own reactions. I didn’t mean to go on this rant. I only meant to point out the absurdity of your claim to some unique, parental righteousness.Ugh!

    1. Maybe it is you and the felchers should go to Pleasanton, DP isn’t an amusement park or a just fun place to go visit for us, we live here, it’s our front yard and where our kids go to school.

      Common basic courtesy says that you don’t felch or piss in someone’s front yard without asking first, and that you pick up your trash regardless. That would actually be civil….

    2. Dr. Elitist:

      We need a few good Wickeds (an attitude, not a gender designation) to represent us (i.e. a return to sanity) on the west coast. I think you’d be perfect. Why? For your sane, non-childcentric worldview. Good thing cats don’t have the parental righteousness disease; else imagine how impossible life would be trying to avoid it everyday. To quote you and your unwitting audition for West Coast Representative of Wicked StepMomstery: ” I just get so sick of the way that being a mother is taken as an unfettered license to authenticate moral panic.”

      Oh, Doctor…you are so right.

      I think we love you.

  8. According to chalkman,

    “DP isn’t an amusement park or just a fun place to go visit for us, we live here…”

    Really? Are you part of our local homeless community? Dolores Park isn’t fun? Well it should be- especially given the fact that it is..a… park! Look, I’m not making a point to stand up for the appropriateness of the act. A conversation about appropriateness can be had. Rather, I’m appealing the all-too-common entitlement of San Francisco parents who claim a space as primarily theirs on account of “the children.” I understand your concern! But there is a flaw to assume a right to reorder society to achieve child-centric sanitization. WE are society as well. Even your own post reveals your own presumptions of ownership: “we live here, it’s our front yard.”

    Technically, the park is /not/ your yard. You have not purchased Dolores Park. I look out onto the park as I write this message from my apartment on Dolores and 20th but I don’t conflate my proximity with ownership. No, that kind of solipsism is usually reserved for entitled parents :-). The existence of children in the room does not always mean that they should become the most urgent factor in it. Your having had a child does not give you special social or moral licenses in a society where there are other people.

    Yet, moms often use the child-card to either 1) make a claim to some sort of moral urgency that necessarily usurps any other concerns, rights, groups or values or to 2) make excuses for their ineptitude as parents.

    By this latter point, I mean to say that it is only a truly incompetent parent who would believe that removing uncomfortable things from the eyes of a child is the way to help a child become responsible, moral and a thinking person. Remember, this is not a universal recourse! Children in France and Asia are not shielded from strange and weird sights, but they are engaged appropriately in a dialogue. I fear a world of children whose parents have failed to give them the skills and language to be able to deal with and to process a weird, diverse, strange and wonderful world.

    1. VERY well said Dr Elitist! Your two comments are the most well written I’ve read in a long time. Do you have any other writings to be found around the interwebs?

      Appropriate or not (although, as has been pointed out, this was a photo shoot, not a random act, so I think the outrage is unwarranted), sex/nudity shouldn’t be hidden from children. Teaching kids that sex and nudity are bad things that they need to be shielded from or that they aren’t ready for will only cause problems and confusion when they enter the sexual world at an older age. It’s important to talk honestly and openly about sexuality with children so that they’ll be able to have a healthy and safe sexual life when they grow up.

      Parents are free to raise their kids however they like, but, as you’ve so eloquently said, being a parent doesn’t give them the authority to dictate what’s morally acceptable for the rest of society.

      1. I agree completely! Thank you! I don’t have other writings of this sort. I also agree with your note about appropriateness. As it is a shoot, there needs to be a bit of perspective.

      2. You made a huge leap from my kids stumbling on public buttface-planting to shielding my kids from sex and nudity. Obviously, you have no idea who I am or how I raise my kids, and forgive me if I don’t feel like explaining felching to my fucking 5-year-old daughter!

      3. That you do not feel like explaining it should not mean that said thing ought to be removed. Perhaps you should address your laziness before inducing moral earthquakes.

    2. I love you, and this argument. Thank you for taking the time to spell this out for all the annoying and entitled parents out there.

    1. Actually, that’s exactly how “gay” people come off to me. Who gives a rat’s ass how weird wonderful and diverse the world is? -You, mainly. Your sex-having is no more important than my sex-having. Act like you’ve been doing it for awhile.

      .

  9. Well, “Bound to get crushed for this,”

    Anyone whose sentence includes “how ‘gay’ people come off to me” is beyond critique or help. If I could do it without getting caught, Id run up to you and smack you in the back of the head.

    1. Awww… give him (or her) a pat on the back for letting gay people come off to him (or…)! Gay people are always asking if they can come off to me, and I’m all, like, “No, thanks — try a magazine.”

    2. Boy, you are a big dummy with a certificate on the wall to the contrary. I love how all species here in SF are admonished to CELEBRATE DIVERSITY! (but god forbid you point out that anyone is different).
      Total double-standard. Anyone who says something is beyond critique and wishes they had the balls to sucker-slap someone is a milquetoast puss. I doubt you can ‘get away’ with much more than clowning yourself on the internet. Come get some.
      Be about it, don’t talk about, and so forth. Ya dig, pops?

  10. Okay, I’m not going to get into the argument about whether this is right or wrong or whether having children gives you more of a right to tell people what to do.

    I just need to call out this idiot that keep using the term “felching.” It’s not called felching, it’s called rimming!

    Get your sex terms straight. Felching is something you do after sex. These guys don’t look like they just had sex. On the contrary, they look like they quickly posed for this picture when nobody was looking.

  11. Well, Mr Nipple Russell, why don’t I give you my address and telephone number as a sign of my authenticity! You are definitely a BIG MANLY man with inordinately sized “balls” – the apotheosis of the Alpha!. All us lesser men should follow your divine, masculine lead. Perhaps us fags can be less fag-like by heeding your fine, shining example. I, for one, am now searching for a place to genuflect!

  12. Oh this brings back fond memories of when I first moved to SF in the early 90s. People over dosing, convulsing in the gutter in front of the pizza by the slice place. Oh pizza sounds good.

    SF was more fun when all the straight people loathed gay people and wouldn’t be caught DEAD near the Castro. Now they’re all here with their tech jobs and smug condescension tucked into their messenger bags.

    The only thing I can’t stand more than people who talk about the way SF used to be are the people who hate people who talk about the way SF used to be.

  13. LOL! I love that I tipped MM to this HOT(!) photo from all the way over here in Pennsylvania and that it caused such a ruckus. Gotta love electronic communication and how small the world is now!

  14. My responses/reactions have nothing to do with gaysexfelchingrimming, i would have the same thing to say about two straight people fuckingsuckingwhathaveyou in plain sight in broad daylight for my kids to see.

    Those of you without kids can’t really comment. You have no idea what you are talking about.

  15. “Those of you without kids can’t really comment[!]”

    What stupid whining and awful logic. Having kids gives you no diamond microphone and not having kids does not take away one’s right to speak. Parents do not rule any world except for the tiny world of their own tiny tots. I am not your child and you and your child have no special status for me. You should really examine your tendency to believe that being a parent gives you special and otherwise-inaccessible knowledge or a special claim or power in a society- a power to order that a public or society be changed because of you having a child. It is not only a flawed idea, it is also a dangerous one because it leave the child incapacitated. What a terrible thing to do a child – to leave him or her without the skills to cope in the world.

    But as a person in the world and a citizen who will live among your children (and who will therefore be impacted by them), I hope that they might develop an ability to deal with and live in this world rather than to internalize parental failings because these incapacitated kids grow up to be terrible and stunted adults- left without many of the skills that they needed to develop in order to be well-adjusted.

    I plan to have kids and I have strong beliefs about how a child should be raised-optimally. But I would never want to hinder the child from becoming an ethical citizen by giving the child the impression that they are the center of a world or society or that they are not part of a collective society. I hope that I can instill in the child an ability to not be TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by things that she or he cannot understand. How it is that a parent cannot understand the harm that such a perspective entails continually amazes me. Your disgust at ass-circus (even one staged for an art show) is one thing. But your parental outrage is laughable and terribly sad.

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