Knockout: Dance to 90s Music While Some Drunk Chick Takes a Piss in the Men’s Room Urinal

I always thought The Knockout was a place where people who still think Nirvana is indie went to score blow.  Turns out people dance there too!  I had been seeing these pictures pop up on flickr a lot and kept thinking “what brand of douchebag goes to a club that, presumably, hires some jackass to take photos of their trashed customers, watermarks/brands/copyrights the photo, and upload them to flickr?”  So I decided to do a little recon/spectating with the ultimate authority of Mission douchebags last night.  Dunno about it.  Felt like a more over-hyped promoted/less fun version of emo night at Pops (which is free and they serve $1 high life).  The whole time I was there nothing really notable or exciting happened.  Some drunk chicks hit the photobooth but the whole thing was mostly shouting at your friends over the DJ.  Rolled out at midnight, went to Farolito, savaged a burrito, and went to bed.

Of course, some of my friends stuck around.  Got this text this morning:

“Forgot to tell you about the girl who was peeing in the urinal as I was puking in the stall.  Told me not to turn around because she was embarrassed.”

Chris, did you get any snaps of that?


Author: Kevin Montgomery

No one should have a biography at age 24.

75 thoughts on “Knockout: Dance to 90s Music While Some Drunk Chick Takes a Piss in the Men’s Room Urinal”

    1. yup. and the fact that kev and the “brolores park” crew don’t recognize it is making them look like the douchebags, especially since that other blog sucks.

      1. Yep, Mission Mission and Brolores Park are the epitome of “douchey” so this is just a huge endorsement

  1. Didn’t think it was possible to mosh to No Doubt but Spiderwebs came on and the dance floor became a sea of moving beards.

    Peeing in the mens room is THE only way to go. Lip gloss reapplication clogs the ladies room. Doi.

  2. I would be happier with Debaser if it played more 90’s R&B and hiphop….and if they added more fans-it gets too sweaty in there for my liking.

  3. You’re absolutely right. A better night would be to get together with some friends and talk about found art and Kierkegaard. Getting wasted and having fun is really below Mission standards.

  4. I demand we take at least 15 to 20 minutes out of listening to awesome music and drinking beers so that we may partake in an intense Kierkegaard discussion at Diary. That’ll be when the party really starts.

  5. As long as people are having fun who cares? It’s better than going to a fun bar and having a bad time only to go home and write some angry blog about it. Debaser at the knockout is cool and free, just wear a doofy flannel and get there before 11!

  6. um, i have to flat-out disagree with this guy. you left at midnight?? what kind of party pooper are you?? this is the only event in the city i get to with any regularity, i always run into old friends and i happily crowd surf and dump beer on people til i get kicked out or hurt myself. long live debaser!

  7. Dude obviously went into Debaser with the intention of hating it, didn’t like the music because in the 90’s he was probably too busy listening to eminem instead of the replacements, and left before midnight because he had no one to dance with.
    “Less fun version of Emo night @ Pop’s” is this because the DJ’s actually play records and go off instead of repeating the same 5 “emo” bands that they listened to in high school every diary night? How is dancing to 90’s less fun than sitting around thinking about your old high school girlfriend and screaming blink 182 lyrics?
    Emo night could take some tips from Debaser.
    also, they have done a Debaser hip-hop night.

      1. and where is the 80’s hipster rocker hideout that will crank the Replacements, cuz THAT reunion i just don’t see happening.

  8. I don’t use the term “hater” lightly, because it’s often just a way to disregard anyone who criticizes anything, but this struck a nerve.
    The KO is a really welcoming place, run by good people. Debaser is a bastion of good times, and talking shit about it is kind of akin to punching a kitten.
    New year’s eve is amateur night for the whole fucking city. Anywhere you went was bound to be a goddamn nightmare.
    Diary’s great! It really is. But Debaser is also great. Guess what? They’re on different nights, and therefore not mutually exclusive! GO TO BOTH, and for the love of god stop fucking hating on bars that aren’t packed to the gills with self-loathing normal people.
    Also, tip your bartender.

  9. Well, at least one thing hasn’t changed since high school. People still love to talk shit on internet message boards!

    Regardless, I’ve been to Debaser once and had a really great time. There are pictures of it (I’m the shirtless dude crowd surfing with his arms straight up in the air). I’d only tell someone not to go if they were not in the mood to lose control of their mind, body, and soul. Not to mention sweat off a few pounds.

    You gotta admit though, the term of “90s night” does draw a certain type of crowd, both douche-worthy and not. Many of my friends go on a regular basis, but the Mission is also constantly full of douchey types on weekends. Maybe that’s what Kevin saw? I don’t know.

    In my own defense, we play far more than five bands a night at Diary, and they are not all “emo” because it’s not the only kind of music we base the night on. However, if you come later in the night you’ll probably hear just about the same grouping of tunes each time around because that’s what everyone asks to hear and we like making people happy. Really though, you can’t have a night based on genre and era and not end up playing many of the same songs repeatedly. It’s just the name of the game.

    “Emo night” and Debaser are two separate beasts with different goals and mutual appreciations for one another. Jamie and Chris hang out with us, and, when we’re brave enough, we go hang with them. Long live Debaser!

  10. And while i’m at it, getting bent out of shape because a girl had to use the men’s room is some major old-hat, insidiously-sexist bullshit. Put your fucking chivalry cape on and wait your turn. Everyone needs to pee, and the sooner we all get it over with the sooner we can get back to having a blast. Or you could just leave and go piss at another venue. It makes no difference to those of us who are busy not being wet blankets.

    1. I got bent out of shape about it? I actually thought it was funny. Dunno why the photographer didn’t go get snaps of it, since invading privacy (via 5k in photo gear) seems to be a major point of pride of the organizers.

      Oh wait, no one bothered to read the piece. Oops!

      1. You’re right, I overreacted because the general snarky tone of the “piece” seemed to be impugning the entirety of your experience.
        It *was* funny! What a funny thing to happen. In fact, I would say that it was a good thing. Had I been there, it would have brightened my evening.
        I would have told my friends, and then we all would have laughed about it.
        And then I would have gone home and written a negative, generalizing, boring, and generally crotchety blog post about how the knockout sucks because I didn’t know people there and there was someone taking pictures of his friends.

        ps I love patric.
        sorry for taking my frustrations out on the internet. That was vaguely cathartic.

      1. Dude I am fucking slaying assassin’s creed II. this game is awesome! In between comments on this guy’s blog post I’m killing venetian nobles like they were fish in an historically-accurate barrel. I love my day off.

      2. Totes jelly. Though that game has been hard for me to get into. Dude, since we’re chatting here, you ever interested in doing a little music writing? I could use some help.

      3. I know basically fuck-all about serious music trivia but I could fake it til I make it. can I use the word “angular” to describe guitar riffs? that seems to go over well.
        oh and just to get this out of the way I have an unapologetic love for interpol so I hope that’s ok.

  11. aren’t you people too old to drink continuously do blow and ecstacy and act like it? Seriously. This is an OVER scene and would not be tolerated anywhere else but SF…. and what?
    “wipe your vagina off”??? trying to insult every woman out there? What does that even mean?

    GROW UP

    1. i am insulted that someone things they are “too old” to drink continuously and do blow. For the record, no one is ever too old to party.

      Also note worthy: people should want more vaginas wiped ON them.

    2. At the risk of giving this comment too much credit, I took it to be a subtle play on the word douche, although it would have been better to write “rinse your vagina off”. Although being an optimist I’m probably wrong.

    3. yes, yes, I care that much to personally insult every single woman in the world.
      way to go and perpetuate the whiney-san francisco-lib stereotype.

      1. I look at that picture and see a room of waste products destroying themselves out of fear of being an adult.

        again: grow up

        Newsflash: a woman’s vagina is sacred. To discuss a woman in those terms is beyond insulting.

        WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE

  12. Dear Friends,

    I’m going to step in here just to say we love Diary. Patrick and Kristopher are our homies and the one thing we respect above all else is people doing it for the love of the music they grew up with and having some balls to play it in public where people can appreciate it.

    The whole point of both these nights is to be a little brave with the selection so people can connect via the music, which in many instances is really important to them for personal reasons. If people are unimpressed by a room full of people singing along to radiohead or smashing pumpkins and hugging i really don’t know what else to tell them.

    Anyway, props to Diary for having the nads to do something different that people love. I know we were scared shitless to roll up to the club the first time with ten crates of records you would get run out of any club in america for playing. And props to everyone who has come out to support this.

    I never thought I would see the day when I was in a room with one person who knew what Sleater Kinney, Archers of Loaf, Bikini Kill, Neutral Milk Hotel, or any other of the random things we play were, let alone hear people sing along and dance. So thanks to everyone for coming and supporting.

    PS. I thought you all might like to know that Patrick and Kristopher are next up to guest with us, so you whippersnappers will soon get to have your cake and eat it too on that one.

    Love Always,
    Jamie

    1. Word up, Jamie. No hate. All love. Debasary (just made that up) will be epic and filled with every kind of douchebag imaginable. Emo, alterna-rock, pop punk, indie, Mission, North Beach, you name it! We’ll all be there.

      One love!

    2. Dear Jamie,

      Right now my next door neighbor is audibly singing something that sounds like micheal bubley or whatever else it is i can’t bother to find the spelling for. Im not sure. But it is A Capella. He also has a large collection of skinny puppy he’s into blasting. I’d choose fun music over that any night.

      love,
      Granny Complex Ashley

      1. Seriously, you think that’s an excuse for misspelling Patric’s name? I’m blowin E 24/7 and I got impeccable diction. Admit it: You just pulled a Kevin Montgomery, son.

  13. So, a girl with great need is resorting to using the mens urinal to take a leak.

    How is this newsworthy?

    Back when my lady and I used to party, I would scope out places for her and any friends she just made in the ladies room line to bum rush an empty mens room stall and then stand guard while they did their business. Happened all the time. Thankfully no one from the “Saluting San Francisco’s Mission District” webpage was there otherwise I’m sure there would be pictures and snarky commentary online the next day.

    You ever notice that people that throw the word “douchebag” around a lot are just really horrible people?

    Not because of the clothes they wear, or the music they listen to, whatever pop culture they consume, or the way they dance, but just in how they treat their fellow human being. They just human beings like pieces of shit.

    I see a girl in need, resorting to humiliating herself just to take a leak in a mens room urinal and my first instinct would be protect that girl and make sure no one fucks with her.

    What’s the official response of “Saluting San Francisco’s Mission District” crew?

    “I actually thought it was funny. Dunno why the photographer didn’t go get snaps of it.”

    That really cuts me the wrong way.

    I think it’s the recent Richmond Gang Rape. 7 guys brutally raped, kicked the poor girl in the head, robbed her, and even penetrated her with foreign objects for kicks for over TWO AND A HALF HOURS while bystanders took pictures with their cell phones.

    “I actually thought it was funny. Dunno why the photographer didn’t go get snaps of it.”

    Dear “Saluting San Francisco’s Mission District” webpage,

    fuck you.

    1. ““I actually thought it was funny. Dunno why the photographer didn’t go get snaps of it.”

      That really cuts me the wrong way.”

      It’s called making fun of the photographer for invading people’s privacy.

  14. Hey Michael Bolton, chill out. Comparing a little girl being gangraped to a girl pissing in the bathroom is a little over the top. It’s a blog, he didn’t dig the party, big deal. And in the meantime stop being such a Captain-Save-A-Ho (no offense to the lady) I’m sure the girl pissing wasn’t getting her panties in a twist like you are, she’s a big girl and can take care of her self. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle…

  15. OMG Its so cool how you guys get to have opinions,type them here, other people disagree in your opinion and then you get to respond…woah!

  16. I just wanted to say the single greatest moment in my day was reading…

    “Didn’t think it was possible to mosh to No Doubt but Spiderwebs came on and the dance floor became a sea of moving beards.”

  17. “Dear Internet,

    Last night I went to a party just to laugh at all the douchebags I knew would be there. And boy was I right. OMG! Everyone there sucked and once again I was the only awesome person in the Mission that night. Then I heard some girl took a leak in the mens urinal and I wished I could have taken a picture of it to post on my blog. LOL! I didn’t really talk or dance with anyone and left early. I ate a burrito by myself and then went home to sleep alone. Once again, I rule!

    Love,

    Prince Kevin.”

    That’s basically the gist of your post and you can probably understand that if you go about presenting yourself that way people are going to think that you’re a pompous ass.

    More importantly, you should probably ask yourself are you really “Saluting San Francisco’s Mission District” or are you “A Parasite That’s Taking A Public Shit on San Francisco’s Mission District”

  18. I just have to laugh every time someone commenting on SF Appeal uses the words “Mission Mission” and “journalism” near each other. Either they must not spend too much time here, or take themselves way too seriously, or most likely both….

  19. It kind of sucks because at one time I honestly thought this was a great blog.

    Since then it’s been hijacked by self-hating sycophants that are running this page into the ground.

    Ever notice the people who throw the word “douchebag” and “hipster” around more than anyone else tend to live in The Mission. And they hate ALL of their neighbors.

    But please, don’t let that stop you, Prince Kevin.

    I mean, you’re the kind of guy who never really dances at parties but lives to make fun of people who are having a good time on the dancefloor. That’s all you’re really good for these days anyway.

    What’s your club?

    Seriously. Where’s the next Mission Mission jam?

    C’mon, even brasstax has renegades in Delores Park. Where the FUCK is your party?

    You just sit on your high horse and shit on your neighbors.

    And then post it online for the rest of us to choke on.

    Nice.
    Fucking.
    Life.

    1. Yikes. Them’s fightin words. Lasso it in cowboy.

      I’ve seen Kevin dance. Shit ain’t pretty but he’s definitely not above it. Think white man overbite and flailing. KevMo is pro fun.

      I love the Knock Out. Love it! Soul night. Debaser. Random Wednesday for a beer. It’s a damn fine establishment. Lurve aside, I DO think it’s a bit ridiculous that there is now a photog hired “to take photos of their trashed customers, watermarks/brands/copyrights the photo, and upload them to flickr.” We’re not in LA. The KO isn’t a club. I mean the dance floor really only bumps for about an hour and half?

      It’s all just silly really.

      1. Having a photographer take pictures of your party to post online is probably the most cost efficient and honest way to promote your event.

        “This is what my party looks like and these are some of the regulars. Take it or leave it.”

        There are several sites (nitevibe.com, eventvibe.com, mvgals.net) devoted just to party pictures of people in the Bay Area so I’m baffled as to why people have such a problem with someone trying to promote their own event. Then again, you can’t even go out and have a good time in a club without someone in this city getting upset and then doing a hatchet job of you online.

        But if you’re going to go out of your way to do a drive-by hit piece and call all these people douchebags (Really? What the fuck have these guys ever done to you? You know, besides supporting the local Mission economy that you’re suppose to be a fan of) then fine. Let’s see what you look like on the dancefloor, Kevin. Apparently you’re an expert on this topic and if you want to blast people you’ve never even spoken to before for being “douchebags” then back it up. Let’s see what you look like you’re dancing.

    2. Seriously, you are taking KevMo-trolling to never before seen heights. How much more vertical space do you want to add to this thread? I think I wore out my scrollwheel halfway through your last post.

      I think you’ve made your point about 18 times. Let’s move on, eh?

      1. Sure thing. No problem.

        Call someone you’ve never met before and who has never wronged you in any way a douchebag and chances are they’ll respond accordingly. You might even want to take a moment to look inside yourself and ask why you harbor that kind of resentment towards your neighbors. Or not. I’m out of here so fire at will.

  20. What got me really excited in this post was the flood of comments from Debaser and Diary fans who (be they egged on by Facebook status updates or no) decided to speak in favor of something they actually enjoyed.

    I mean, Debaser sounds like something I would hate, there’s so many songs from the nineties that I never want to hear again. But I’ve seen more positivity in this post than the months and months of hipster self-hatred this blog otherwise seems to be.

    Though it seems to be that (other than this post) the state of missionmission is pretty strong so far in 2010. Keep it nice, chums.

  21. 1 year too slow, but I just saw this post.
    A few crucial points:

    1. Kevin is a youngass spring chicken, and missed out on the early 90s. It’s not his fault.
    2. Kevin does not like to dance. Somewhat his fault.
    3. Kevin is sipping on his usual tall order of Hater-Ade.

    For those who ARE old enough to love the 90s, and who love to dance, this place is great. It’s definitely “discovered” by now and crowded as fuck, but still great.

    Sincerely,
    Chick who drunkenly pees in the men’s restroom

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