Naked Lady Returns to Homestead, New Naked Lady Security Measures Established

There is hope for humanity after all! Andrea sent us an update on the naked lady painting that was jacked from the Homestead last week:

Through our special bartending investigative methods, we were able to contact the guilty party who had rented the room that Monday night. After a few days, the painting was returned via messenger. We’re happy to have her back and will be taking further methods to assure that all the naked ladies in the bar are permanently secured to the walls. The woman who stole it has been permanently 86’d.

Hear that? Per the new policy, if you’re a lady and you plan on being naked at Homestead, you will be permanently secured to the wall. Keep your clothes on.